Tuesday, February 28, 2006

What happened to the lady?

SAHM. Are you familiar with that acronym? It stands for "Stay at home mom," which happens to be my current profession. If you have ever been at home during the day due to sickness, vacation, or because you too are a SAHM, then you have likely caught a daytime talk show or two. Oprah, Ellen, and even Tony Danza (who apparently has been given his own show) all give praise to the SAHM, often citing how that is the hardest job out there. They know who their audience is and know how to charm them.

Apparently Good Morning America isn't too worried about getting the SAHM's vote, because they recently had author Laura Hirshman on discussing the horrible tragedy of the new trend of college-degreed women choosing to stay at home and raise babies rather than take their place in the work environment. She went on to say, "I think it"s a mistake for these highly educated and capable women to make that choice. I"m saying an educated, competent adult"s place is in the office."


Wow! Ms. (I presume it is not Mrs.) Hirshman, shall we all go burn our bras as well? If you know me, you know I am not the meek, timid thing in the corner without a mere thought in her head. I agree in equality for everyone, despite sex, skin color, SES, choice in cola, etc. Our society has come so far in accepting differences as just that, rather than as a determination of greatness or weakness. Gone are the days when women enter college to get a degree in either home economics, teaching, or nursing. The glass ceiling for women in the workplace is slowly being shattered in businesses and companies all across our nation. The Feminist Movement did a lot for women in our country, but now this author is throwing us back into the stone age. I have a Masters Degree in Clinical Child Psychology. My thesis was presented at the American Psychological Association's national convention. I had a successful career as a teacher, creating a name (small) for myself in Special Education and behavior modification in the district in which I was associated. Now, I spend the majority of my day changing diapers, playing Peek-A-Boo, and singing the "Rice Cereal" song a million times (one of many diddies I have "written" and perform for Isaac on a daily basis--I recently heard Tobe singing the "It's bathtime, it's bathtime" song. Perhaps I will make my own CD....). Apparently this autbelievesives sactivitiesites itrivialival way to spend a day. However, Martin Luther King Jr.'s mother, Mother Teresa's mother, and even Bono's mother most likely spent the majority of their days doing the same thing in the early years. When did raising a child to become an independent, motivated adult become a waste of an education?

So I ask the question, "Where has the lady gone in our society?" Recently researchers have noticed a trend in adolescent females. Girls are becoming more and more aggressive--whether in the classroom, on the sports field, or in everyday interactions. We all love when one of roommatesates on the Real World starts pulling and clawing at another female roomie. However, we are not shocked by the idea that girls are fighting and using such colorful language that would make a sailor blush (no offense to any Navy personal who read this blog). When did aggressive, bitchy (excuse my language) women/girls become the norm? How do women expect men and society in general to hold them in high regards and show respect towards them if this is the image of woman that is being portrayed?

Right now you might be asking yourself what is the point of this blog---you were just checking to get an update on Isaac and you got a rant about women in our society. Laura Hirshman's comments made me angry and frustrated with perceptions of women in our society. I believe that anyone--regardless of color, creed, or gender---can set out and accomplish any task, from presiding over the boardroom to sitting at home reading "If You Give a Moose a Muffin" for the 12th time. I do not believe that the educated stay-at-home parent is wasting their knowledge. I am worried that the power of being a woman and a mother--the graceefficiencyency that Proverbs 31 portrays--is going to be lost to a society that craves drama and selfishness. Thus the reason for this tirade. I hope that notionsiong of "being a lady" becomes the new trend for women. That classiness and reserve are the qualities that are appreciated rather than in-your-face aggressiveness. I hope that involved parenting is revered for the outcomes it creates. Finally, I hope that Ms. Hirshman one day has a child of her own and comes to understand the value in raising a child, rather working outside the home or not.

Now if you excuse me, I am off to sing "We Shall Overcome" and tend to my garden.

7 comments:

Unknown said...

I love what you said about being a lady! I am trying to teach my boys that girls are different than they are. Not less intelligent, or less capable, but definitely different and they need to be treated respectfully. I would hope that mothers and fathers of little girls would teach their daughters not to be ball-busters and that men are not bumbling idiots like they are portrayed in TV shows and commercials. And that's my soapbox for today. And in our house you are the end-all be-all authority on the child psyche. Let me know when the CD is out.

Jennifer Schroeder said...

well said!!!

Amy C said...

I think your words were Holy and inspired! Preach on sister. . .

Unknown said...

I think it is naive of Laura Hirshman to assume that a college degree becomes irrelevant and useless when a woman makes the decision to stay at home. I find that the information I learned throughout both my degrees are very applicable as well as invaluable to my role as a SAHM. When I really stop and think about her comments, what this author is saying to me in my situation is that with a Master's in Human Development and Family Studies (with an emphasis in Child Life), it is acceptable for me to go and take care of other people's children; however, taking care of my own child is a tragic waste of my knowledge.

JKMeeks said...

I am reading your blog thanks to Summer. I am an ACU grad, and I am a mommy. I am also a career mommy. But the most important job I have is being a mommy. As for the wasting the intellegence, here is what I have to say on that. In my job at work, I know exactly what I am to be doing. People tell me directly. There is no question as to my tasks or my responsiblities. And to give myself props I am good at it, I have never doubted my abilities. BUT as a mommy, I am unclear at times as to what my seven month old needs. What do you do when they are acting hurt but you can find a problem. When they scream and you think it is an earache to find out they were just mad. Or to suspect hunger and it be sleepiness. Or I would like to ask Ms.Womens rights if she nows how to get herself, and her child packed and ready to leave for "her job" all the while avoiding getting cereal or peaches on your black suit. And if infact you do get cereal on your black suit how you get it off while driving with nothing but a baby wipe. It requires more intellegence and common sense to be a mom. I have never doubted myself so much, but have never had a better job. So I say to her, try to handle a day doing both, or just being a mom. The smartest "career" woman in the world can crumple under the pressure of a teething three month old. And as for Proverbs 31, God says that is the type of woman I am to be! That is first over anything society tells me. Lynley, sorry I am not meek and in the corner either. Hope you dont mind the rampage! Doing both, I feel very strongly about what is priority in my life and that is MY FAMILY and MY GOD. Mt career can go at anytime, but if I dont raise this baby right I will have a lifetime of grief and guilt. Her soul and her precious life is my number one concern. So ask Ms. Smartypants how you get a two year old to lay down for a nap, or to stay in their bed at night instead of getting up.

Unknown said...

Great post Lynley! I completely agree with your thoughts. There is a book "What our mothers didn't tell us" that basically talks about how the feminist movement brought forth all the career opportunities for women that we now enjoy, but they have come with a cost to women, men & children (that is rarely readily admited or talked about).

I also read a NY Times article recently that lamented how many Ivy League girls eventually wanted to be SAHM's, and how so many feminists were appauled by this "waste" of their education. It is really sad that society does not esteem SAHM's, but know that you are admired by many!

Phillips Family said...

WOW! Everyone has such great thoughts and comments. Why didn't Good Morning America put all of us on as an intelligent panel of women to discuss our roles in society? I think I will write ol Charlie Gibson a letter suggesting such things....