Dinner

One time when my mother was a little girl she made a request of her parents. She wanted to have dinner "like the families on TV." This translated into my carpenter grandfather wearing a dress shirt and slacks instead of the usual dirty t-shirt and my teacher grandmother to don her work clothes rather than her comfy housecoat. My mother wanted pearls, ties, and niceties from everyone. To humor her--and because she was an only child--my grandparents ate their supper one night in their finest clothes and pretend to be just like the Cleavers (minus Wally). Although my mom enjoyed the experience she quickly realized that such dining was not as glamorous as TV had portrayed. The next night they went back to undershirts, housecoats, and normal ways.

Fast-forward fifty years. I cook dinner almost every night, partly because I love to cook and partly as a way to be careful with our money. Up until about five months ago, Tobe and I ate every meal at our coffee table in front of the television, making sure we had seen all episodes of Friends at least three times each. Once Isaac was eating baby food in the high chair, we moved dinner into the kitchen and sat at the actual table. I saw enough of those "Family Table" commercials while viewing Nick at Nite during Isaac's nighttime feedings to understand the importance of the family eating together and sharing about their day. I also taught a large number of children who never sat down with their family and ate a meal together. Throughout the course of each school year I would have several times where the class would dine together, whether feasting on a breakfast I brought in or everyone eating their lunch at the reading table (I taught a small class, which made this possible. They were all also under the special education umbrella which made it permissible for me to give them food, something that the state of Texas no longer allows in the regular classroom). While I ate with my students, I was always amazed at how most of them relayed that their family never sat down as a whole and enjoyed a meal together on a somewhat continuous basis.

As a mom and a wife I am determined that we are going to eat a meal together, even if it kills us. I believe it to be an intrical part to having a connected family. Look at cultures and societies that enjoy food and the eating process---their families are quite close. However, the image of the perfect dinner is not quite matching up with chow time at the Phillips. My husband is fortunate enough to be home by 5pm most nights (you don't want to know what time he leaves in the morning to make this possible) and we usually sit down by 5:30pm for supper. By about 5:15pm Isaac sometimes is struggling with being cranky, wanting to crawl in the fridge everytime it opens (though that could be because our kitchen is the hottest room in the house and he just needs to cool off), get into the trash can, or sit outside the kitchen door and say "mamamama" if he has been banished to the living room. We sit down to feast with me sweating from the hot oven, Tobe tired from the commute, and Isaac looking at us ever so slyly before methodically dropping the undesirable food over the side of the highchair. The Cleavers we are not. So I ask you, dear readers, how do you make dinner time an enjoyable experience? Ours is not unenjoyable per say right now, but I am always interested in hearing tips and techniques that others have found helpful to one day (or perhaps tonight!) put in place myself. I know one day the toddler attempting to toss food over the side will turn into the mute teenage who can only manage to grunt in response to our questions. What works (or doesn't work and now you avoid it like a plague) for your family at meal times?

Finally for those who reside in the lovely D/FW area, I do hope you caught a piece of the police chase yesterday (man carjacked an 18 wheeler with the woman driver still at the wheel--the chase went on for hours, all over the area). I enjoy a good police chase and get very excited when we catch one on television (as long as no one is hurt). There are some things I would like to point out about yesterday's particular chase. First of all, did you notice that there were quite a few women on the SWAT team holding onto the back of the Dallas SWAT vehicle? Glad to see that the Dallas PD is doing their part for gender equality (at least they have that going for them--we won't mention the fake drug busts). Also, for those people who left their houses and parked along I-20 and later I-35 to catch a glimpse of this event, I have to ask "Why?" This was no OJ situation. This was an 18 wheeler who they believed could explode from the sparks being sent up from driving on the rims (the front tires were shot out early on in the chase). Why would you leave your air-conditioned house to go stand on a hot overviews simply to wave and yell at a potential bomb as it traveled underneath you? Finally, I am glad that this chase ended peacefully and no one was hurt (including Alison, who lives incredibly close to where part of the chase took place!). I was very impressed with the driver who was taken hostage (also a woman) and her ability to keep the truck going with no tires, the entire Dallas and Fort Worth police departments following her, and a gun to her head. I imagine she has never been so thankful to crawl into her own bed as she was last night.