Snapshots

Before the Blogging Police come knocking at my Internet door, I figured I should post something else this week as I am sure many of you have grown weary of acknowledging my seven years of matrimony.

Let me explain my absence by saying that I am currently not at casa de phillips nor have I been since Sunday. Sunday morning my mother and I loaded the children in the car and headed for Arkansas. After lunch at the best McDonald's play place our little family has ever visited and a brief jaunt through Stuckie's gas station, we made it to my parents house safe and relatively sound.

While traveling that day, we received word that my great-grandmother had been moved from her nursing home to hospice care at the hospital. We figured it would be a matter of days before her passing, but fortunately she was spared suffering for long and passed that evening. This week has been awhirl with family arriving in town and funeral plans being made.

Despite the hectic nature of the past five days, there has been several instances in which I have take a mental snapshot of particular images, freezing such memories into my brain. The passing of a loved one, time spent in funeral homes and cemeteries, and the conversations that result from such experiences (Cremation or burial? Large, tacky grave marker or subtle stone? Excessive flowers or monetary gifts sent to charities?) makes one quickly realize the fleeting nature of time. It is easy to grow quite weary as the mommy to two babies, sometimes wondering if the day will every actually end, if these two will every actually close their eyes and sleep again. But I know all too soon that these two little ones will grow quickly into teenagers then adults, facing the inevitable passage of time.

And so such thinking has lead me to be a bit more aware of fleeting moments...instances of time I hope never to forget. Like seeing my almost three year old snuggled up with my grandmother on her nursing home bed, watching Noggin together. Or my one year old eagerly greeting my grandfather as he emerges into his kitchen. Of napping with both children on separate occasions this week, feeling their hot breath of my face as I sleep and hearing a sweet little voice demand, "Let's sleep close, Mommy" before proceeding to press his face directly next to me and instantly nod off. And of watching my grandma say good-bye to her own mother Sunday night in a quiet hospital room, seemingly reverting back to the days of her youth as she appeared girl-like and tiny in her mom's presence.

We laid Grandmother Crosby to rest this morning, along with her own personal snapshots of life. I imagine she created many in her 92 years.

I plan to do the same.