Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Tips From the Trenches

Here are a few tips I learned in my neverending role as Mommy today:

Give your toddler a shiny green apple. This will entertain him for at least 30 minutes as he sits on the kitchen floor munching away happily, lost in his thoughts.

Holding your prone-to-spit-up 3 month old above your head five minutes after eating in order to get a giggle out of her will cause her to spit up. Into your mouth.

Trains and small children don’t always result in laughter and fun. As we were out this morning I noticed our local train chugging up ahead of us. Being the savvy Mommy that I am, I pulled a U-turn (not knowing there was a police officer behind me—fortunately he did not seem to notice my traffic violation) in order for us to stop in a parking lot right next to the train tracks. I hurriedly grabbed Isaac from his car seat, anxious to see his utter joy as the train whizzed past us. What I did not expect was the loud screams that would come out of both of my children’s mouths as the train blew its whistle. Loud screams, my friend. Isaac calmed down rather quickly, until the conductor (who was only 10 feet from us by this point) noticed this sweet blonde hair boy watching the train and decided to blow the whistle again. It took five minutes to get them both calmed down and for all screaming and crying to subside. Hopefully they both will not shudder in fear every time we cross a railroad track in the near future.

Two year olds feel like an open sandbox makes the perfect resting spot for a half-eaten Popsicle.

If you watch an EBay auction’s final minutes over the phone with your mother, you most likely will end up bidding on an item in the final 12 seconds out of the sheer excitement of the moment. Then you will do an unfortunate dance of joy while shouting, “I won! I won!” to which your husband will remind you that you actually have to pay for such item.


Sydni said...

I have a confession to make... I have stalked your blog for awhile now. Clint and I both stalk it (I wouldn't want to be in trouble by myself). We think your children are JUST WONDERFUL and your blogging is really entertaining, IMO. I might not leave comments often, but I've subscribed to your blog, and am always quite excited when I see you're posted something new.

Does your winning of the bidding on Ebay mean you'll soon have in your possesion THE perfect stroller?

Phillips Family said...

Yes, in just three short days it will be "good-bye, world's largest double stroller!" and "Hello, second mortgage to pay for my new stroller." But I did win it at a great price!

margk said...

I remember the train days! I used to take Patrick when he was 2-3 and we would walk around in the open cars. I think it was after xmas and they were still taking down decorations. It was so much fun for him. Sorry about the whistle! It can be awfully loud. Congratulations on your new stroller!

Amy said...

By far the funniest post! Glad you "won" the perfect stroller. Sorry you have to pay for it:-)

JenniferReinsch said...

Okay, Lynley, you MUST check out this website. It is for the resort where Dirty Dancing was filmed, and they offer Dirty Dancing weekends. Maybe that could be your next vacation.