Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Allow me to be honest for a few minutes and say something about the ever-so-loved Target.

It is my frenemy.

There are times when Target is 100% my friend, such as the day when I discovered the Playskool Rose Petal Cottage marked down to $30 and the day when I discovered the coordinating Cherry Blossom Market slashed to 90% off. Yep, Target and I were Best Friends Forever on those days.

Target is my friend when I walk through its doors and happen upon a freshly stocked seasonal aisle and is my chum when they put Dunkin Donuts coffee on sale.

Then there are those gloomy days when Target becomes my enemy, days when only one checker is scanning items at the speed of old pancake syrup while my children are falling into heaps of tears and snot over some slight made in their preschool worlds.

Target is my enemy when their sale prices do not sync up with fellow Target stores and it is my enemy when that said Dunkin Donuts coffee is sold out.

See? Target is totally my frenemy. Some days it's a friend, other days it is my worst enemy.

On this fine March day Target was a bit of an enemy.

Evelyn and I decided to make a quick run to this store before preschool pick-up because we were in need of a light bulb for the guest bathroom and Easter marshmallows. The necessities of life. Yes, technically marshmallows are a grocery item only to be purchased during my every-two-week grocery store visits. However, Target is the only place that carries the seasonal marshmallows which my children dearly love as a special treat so this item is the exception to the rule.

Miss E. and I were having quite the grand time, examining the clearance racks and searching for the correct sized light bulb until I made the grave realization....her beloved zebra was no longer sitting next to her in the cart. When questioned about his locale, Evelyn insisted that "RaRa in Ell-in's jacket" (we sometimes tuck him in her jacket to prevent his untimely loss). I kindly pointed out that "Ell-in" was not wearing a jacket due to the 80+ degree weather and that "RaRa" was missing.

I retraced our steps...no purple and white zebra.

I checked with customer service...no purple and white zebra.

I took us back out to the car...no purple and white zebra.

Panic began to set in. RaRa is a family member, a coping mechanism for Evelyn, and the only way she will stay in bible class without a total meltdown. He also happened to be purchased at a random Albertson's grocery store months before Evelyn was born and we have been unsuccessful at finding a back-up zebra.

I began to wonder if Amber Alerts were merely for children when we could not locate the zebra after ten minutes.

I began to envision the end of all mankind when we could not locate the zebra within fifteen minutes.

My eyes were getting a bit misty when we could not locate the zebra within twenty minutes.

Approximately 22 minutes after discovering that RaRa was lost (not that I was counting), a woman approached me. She held up a very worn, very loved purple and white zebra and asked if he was ours.

I am not ashamed to admit that I hugged this complete stranger and most likely said, "Bless your heart." ten times.

Crisis resolved.

I paid for our few items and passed through those Target doors, baby girl and purple zebra in tow. I shook my head, glad that this Target trip was over and placed it into the "Enemy" category in the ongoing score in my head.

It was at that moment a lady on her cell phone almost backed over me, the cart, and Evelyn. Fortunately I was able to yell at her to stop. Sheesh. I am sure the call was very important and worth the potential loss of life of two fellow citizens.

I trudged the final steps to our car, ready to retreat into its plush seats and comforting surroundings. I then noticed a large, red pickup had kindly parked extremely close to the driver's side of my car. Thanks, red truck, for your thoughtfulness. Evelyn...and anyone else who happened to walk by at that moment...was quite amused by my contortionist abilities as I attempted to crawl through to the driver's seat via the opposite side.

Target...a girl's best frenemy.


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Jordan said...

We lost Eli's "Ruffy" earlier this week. I thought I was going to go into hysterics. Luckily, he was found smooshed between Eli's top bunk and the wall so the crisis was averted, but not before I had to lie down with Eli so he could fall asleep two nights in a row!

Sometimes Target is just not The Happiest Place On Earth. :)

Robin said...

This seems to be catching...we lost Ian's Foofer last week. Jeremy called me in a panic (I was at a MOPS meeting) with Ian crying in the background. I dashed to Target for some semblance of a replacement (which we all knew wouldn't work). Thankfully, by the time I reached my car, Fake Foofer in hand, J had called to say Foofer was behind our toy bench. NEED to find a REAL Foofer look-alike soon...or some sort of attachment device so that Ian can wear him and keep him available at all times.


Erika said...

I am so sorry you had to go through all of that. One thing is bad enough, but it just kept coming, eh?

I'm very fortunate that Sie never formed any sort of lovie attatchment. I tried to force a few on him, but he never went for it.

Target is my frenemy as well. I'm still mad that they didn't honor a killer deal for a carseat online.

Mommahen said...

My now nine year old then loved Daisy duck (the character NOT from Disney but from the Jane Simmons books). I found his first at a teachers workshop so I bought it. Thus began the days of Daisy.

He was 18 months old. But he was a thumb sucker and thus was orally fixated. So he then began sucking on Daisy's beak. I tried to take it away, but he had already developed an attachment. When the beak started going flat and developing a hole I was desperate to find another one. By this point I had sewn the seams back in her legs and holes together in her beak more than I could count.

Luckily, Gymboree began selling them. So I bought ONE replacement. Then, he lost his replacement. So he was back down to one tattered and broke neck Daisy, and Gymboree clearanced them out. So I bought the last four left. HE loved them to pieces (or at least their beaks).

When he turned four he was STILL in love with Daisy, but we could no longer find any. I spent three days searching on line before I found two replacements. They cost over thirty dollars when the first one was only $6.00. But what a parent will do for their child. Now, I have about four Daisys put up that have survived various stages of deterioration. Matthew finally stopped sucking the beaks and his last one is simply gently loved and resides on his bed. And I will forever keep his Daisys.