Allow me to be honest for a few minutes and say something about the ever-so-loved Target.
It is my frenemy.
There are times when Target is 100% my friend, such as the day when I discovered the Playskool Rose Petal Cottage marked down to $30 and the day when I discovered the coordinating Cherry Blossom Market slashed to 90% off. Yep, Target and I were Best Friends Forever on those days.
Target is my friend when I walk through its doors and happen upon a freshly stocked seasonal aisle and is my chum when they put Dunkin Donuts coffee on sale.
Then there are those gloomy days when Target becomes my enemy, days when only one checker is scanning items at the speed of old pancake syrup while my children are falling into heaps of tears and snot over some slight made in their preschool worlds.
Target is my enemy when their sale prices do not sync up with fellow Target stores and it is my enemy when that said Dunkin Donuts coffee is sold out.
See? Target is totally my frenemy. Some days it's a friend, other days it is my worst enemy.
On this fine March day Target was a bit of an enemy.
Evelyn and I decided to make a quick run to this store before preschool pick-up because we were in need of a light bulb for the guest bathroom and Easter marshmallows. The necessities of life. Yes, technically marshmallows are a grocery item only to be purchased during my every-two-week grocery store visits. However, Target is the only place that carries the seasonal marshmallows which my children dearly love as a special treat so this item is the exception to the rule.
Miss E. and I were having quite the grand time, examining the clearance racks and searching for the correct sized light bulb until I made the grave realization....her beloved zebra was no longer sitting next to her in the cart. When questioned about his locale, Evelyn insisted that "RaRa in Ell-in's jacket" (we sometimes tuck him in her jacket to prevent his untimely loss). I kindly pointed out that "Ell-in" was not wearing a jacket due to the 80+ degree weather and that "RaRa" was missing.
I retraced our steps...no purple and white zebra.
I checked with customer service...no purple and white zebra.
I took us back out to the car...no purple and white zebra.
Panic began to set in. RaRa is a family member, a coping mechanism for Evelyn, and the only way she will stay in bible class without a total meltdown. He also happened to be purchased at a random Albertson's grocery store months before Evelyn was born and we have been unsuccessful at finding a back-up zebra.
I began to wonder if Amber Alerts were merely for children when we could not locate the zebra after ten minutes.
I began to envision the end of all mankind when we could not locate the zebra within fifteen minutes.
My eyes were getting a bit misty when we could not locate the zebra within twenty minutes.
Approximately 22 minutes after discovering that RaRa was lost (not that I was counting), a woman approached me. She held up a very worn, very loved purple and white zebra and asked if he was ours.
I am not ashamed to admit that I hugged this complete stranger and most likely said, "Bless your heart." ten times.
I paid for our few items and passed through those Target doors, baby girl and purple zebra in tow. I shook my head, glad that this Target trip was over and placed it into the "Enemy" category in the ongoing score in my head.
It was at that moment a lady on her cell phone almost backed over me, the cart, and Evelyn. Fortunately I was able to yell at her to stop. Sheesh. I am sure the call was very important and worth the potential loss of life of two fellow citizens.
I trudged the final steps to our car, ready to retreat into its plush seats and comforting surroundings. I then noticed a large, red pickup had kindly parked extremely close to the driver's side of my car. Thanks, red truck, for your thoughtfulness. Evelyn...and anyone else who happened to walk by at that moment...was quite amused by my contortionist abilities as I attempted to crawl through to the driver's seat via the opposite side.
Target...a girl's best frenemy.
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